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How do you tell your child about your upcoming divorce?

On Behalf of | Jan 19, 2021 | Divorce |

Going through a divorce takes a huge toll on every member of your family. This includes you and your co-parent, of course. But it also includes your children. As such, you should consider them an active participant in the discussion about divorce.

But is there any particular way you should tackle broaching the subject? What should you focus on? What should you leave out?

Do not delay telling them

Psychology Today looks into ways you can tell your child about the divorce. First and foremost, do not wait. Take the time you need to orchestrate your approach, but do not continue to put it off. Why? Because this gives your child less time to process the information. This is less healthy for them on both an emotional and psychological level. You want to give them time to explore their feelings, ask questions and get used to the idea before it happens.

Prepare for questions in advance

Speaking of asking questions, get ready to field them. Depending on your child’s age, they may ask questions you are not comfortable answering. Prepare in advance for this possibility. Work with your co-parent to come up with the same answers in advance. You do not want to give your child two different perspectives or stories, either. This will only complicate matters unnecessarily.

Finally, factor your child’s unique personality and maturity level into the equation. As their parent, you know them better than anyone else. You should thus alter your strategies and the advice you hear to best suit your child. No advice is one-size-fits-all, after all. To ensure the discussion goes well, talk to your child from the heart and work with them as an individual. This is one of the best ways to get a good result.