When you and your spouse face divorce, helping your children adjust and learn to accept the new status quo takes time, but the effort is more than worthwhile.
Communication is essential between the two of you and your children as you work to build new family relationships in a post-divorce world.
First, your children need to know that you love them and will continue to care for them even though there will be two households in the new order of things following the divorce. You should be honest in explaining why the family unit is breaking up. Be aware of what each child can understand at his or her particular age and tailor your explanation to that level.
Both you and the other parent can use communication to stay involved in the lives of your children. Whether by phone, email or in-person discussions, you can use teamwork to make major decisions about the children and resolve conflicts. Sometimes children make up stories about what goes on at the home of the other parent. Communication will help you sort through such tales and get to the truth.
Resolve not to criticize or tear down your former spouse in front of your children. Do not air your grievances around them. If you and the other parent show respect for one another, you will help your children grow and learn to treat others the same way. The ability to discuss situations that arise with the children will help you keep misunderstandings from becoming big problems. Communication is the glue that will bind the new family structure to enduring family values and maintain close relationships going forward.