One of the challenges of divorce is the uncertainty of your family unit. If you share children with your soon-to-be-ex, you may have concerns about their ability to adapt to what lies ahead.
Recognizing that changes to your family will create emotional circumstances can help you prepare for challenges that you may encounter. Your preparation to handle your children’s questions, as well as provide unconditional love and support may minimize the negative impacts of divorce on their well-being.
When you notice your children struggling with your family situation you may feel bad about enforcing rules or giving commands that may create tension. However, according to the Mayo Clinic, this approach may increase feelings of insecurity and uncertainty for your children.
Rules encourage accountability and build a structure that your children can count on. Because children need consistency to grow and thrive, maintaining rules can build a strong foundation of trust, respect and comfort in your home. Co-parenting presents its own challenges, but your ability to coordinate with your partner and agree upon ground rules between households can provide instrumental support for your children.
Your children will watch your reaction to your divorce. Even if you do not think they notice, your children may pick up on your emotions and inadvertently follow suit. With this in mind, practice mindfulness when you speak to and about your former partner. Refrain from speaking ill about your ex, recognizing that your children still see that individual as a loving parent.
Your ability to look to the future with hope and enthusiasm can encourage your children to do the same. If you feel concerns about your children’s adaptation, you may also consider professional counseling to help you give your children the tools they need to process their feelings in a productive manner.