According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 782,038 people filed for divorce in 2018. While divorce rates have declined over the decades, it is a very real possibility for many couples. Prenuptial agreements safeguard you in the event of divorce, which is why so many couples have one drafted prior to saying “I do”.
Bringing up the topic is often difficult, especially leading into such a joyous occasion. However, prenups actually reduce your risk of divorce, since the process entails a frank discussion between you and your soon-to-be-spouse about finances. If you are worried about your partner’s reaction to the prenup conversation, these tips can help.
Explain your reasons
People create prenups for all sorts of reasons. Maybe you are a successful and industrious person and have fears about people loving you for the wrong reasons. Or maybe you believe establishing financial independence is healthiest for both parties. Think about the true reason you are asking for a prenup and make this reason clear to your partner. Making a genuine appeal is always better than accusing your partner of wrongdoing before your marriage even takes place.
Listen to your partner
Your partner may be on the same page as you when it comes to financial issues. Or they might find fault with your reasoning, and offer objections based on their own thoughts and feelings. Regardless of the response you receive, listen to what your partner is saying and really try to understand their thought process. If you are unclear, ask questions. Whatever you do, do not immediately become adversarial and assume the discussion is a lost cause.
Revisit the conversation if needed
The prenup conversation should begin months before your wedding is scheduled to take place. Not only does this prevent your partner from feeling pressured to agree to a document they are not happy with, it also gives you ample time for an ongoing discussion. It may take two or more conversations to come to terms you both feel comfortable with, which is in both your best interests. The more time you have, the less stressful the process will be.