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What to do when your spouse asks for a divorce

By Katie L. Lewis

Couple reviewing divorce-related financial documents

Learning that your spouse wants a divorce can be a profound shock. The announcement may trigger a range of emotions from confusion to despair.

How you react in the coming days can massively impact how the situation unfolds. Approach the initial stages of this monumental life change with caution and wisdom.

Your first reaction might be highly emotional. Even if this is the case, try to maintain your composure. Calmly ask your spouse to explain the reasons for wanting a divorce. Understanding your soon-to-be-ex’s thought process can help you grasp the situation better. Have this conversation in a private, quiet setting where you may discuss matters frankly and without interruptions.

Once the initial conversation is over, take a breather to absorb the news. It is normal to feel overwhelmed, sad or angry. Let yourself experience these emotions until they subside. Taking a short break from your usual routines can aid in this endeavor.

Confide in people who can provide emotional support and guidance. Those who care about you should be willing to offer a listening ear, advice and comfort during this difficult time.

Start thinking about what divorce means for your future. Seriously contemplate your living situation, finances and child custody concerns. It is never too soon to start organizing documents and information relating to your assets, debts and other financial matters.

Engage in activities that promote your physical and emotional wellness. Whether your preference is exercising, reading, spending time with loved ones or pursuing a hobby, keeping active can help manage stress and create a sense of normalcy.

Facing divorce is not easy, but specific steps help manage the fallout and prepare for what comes next. With this ordeal in the past, exciting possibilities await.

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