Even though your marriage is ending soon, you recognize the importance of keeping your soon-to-be ex-spouse in your children’s lives. If you plan to negotiate a shared-custody agreement, though, you are probably going to have to defer sometimes to your co-parent’s parenting style and decisions. As you probably know, many co-parents do not see eye-to-eye when it comes to raising kids.
According to Psychology Today, there are four general parenting styles. If your parenting style differs considerably from your co-parent’s, you may worry he or she will leave your kids with an irresponsible, uncaring or reckless babysitter. Putting a refusal clause in your custody agreement can put your mind at ease.
A refusal clause requires both co-parents to consult with each other before making childcare decisions. Specifically, it makes each of you ask the other to babysit before offering others the opportunity to do so.
There are a couple of obvious advantages to inserting a refusal clause into your custody agreement. First, because he or she must ask you to babysit first, you can keep your kids from spending time with someone you do not trust. Second, if you agree to babysit during your non-parenting time, you get to see your children even more.
With a refusal clause, you do not always have to agree to watch the kids, of course. Ultimately, though, if you can negotiate one with your soon-to-be ex-spouse, you may have more confidence going into your shared-custody arrangement.