When going through a divorce, you likely question what the best strategies are. How should you and your co-parent manage the situation? What should you tell your children? Should you minimize their involvement? In what ways?
You may also wonder if you should keep up a front for the sake of your children. But just how much does cooperating with a co-parent actually help your child?
The answer is: it can help a lot. Psychology Today focuses on breaking news of the divorce to your child. They discuss the importance of cooperation between co-parents when broaching divorce topics.
Understandably, your child will likely have a lot of questions to ask about the divorce. You do not want to give different answers, nor do you want to give two versions of the same story. Yes, you both have your own take on the events that led to this. But is it important for your child to know the details? No, especially if it comes at the cost of their mental health.
Keep in mind, this is a scary and uncertain time for everyone. That includes your child. How safe will they feel if their parents continually take shots at each other throughout the divorce process? This will likely leave them even less certain and more afraid.
This is not to say that you need to pretend like everything is okay when it clearly is not. Your child would likely see through that façade, anyway. Instead, simply focus on being civil to the best of your abilities. This way, you can provide your child with continued support and love together as the divorce proceeds.